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How to change your reputation

SUNDAY 012

I took this photograph yesterday. Everything we do, tends to affect what people think of us and about us. This is our reputation and it’s important. It can help us be more popular, get a better job and generally be happier. If you behave badly, you might have a bad reputation. What can you do to change it? Obviously you have to start behaving differently, perhaps being more thoughtful. Thinking before you do things. Are you remembered as having too much to drink at the office party or as the most reliable and professional person in the office? One moment of thoughtlessness can be burnt into the memories of our colleagues and friends to such an extent that our reputation is indelibly scarred.

So we need to think before we do things and perhaps be a little more conservative; with a definite small ‘c’. People who do things in moderation appear to be more stable, as opposed to the office ‘alcoholic’ or the girl from accounts whose skirt is so short, she attracts the attention of the office letch. We do label people whose behaviour is less than desirable don’t we? Do people label you behind your back? It isn’t just your behaviour that will get us a labelled, but the way we look and dress too. We can’t always help the way we look, some people are pretty, some not so pretty, some have perfect bodies, some not so perfect and so on! We can’t control some things, but people tend to accept those; it’s bad behaviour that gets us labelled more. If you behave badly, then any physical difference will be noticed more. If you’re labelled the ‘obnoxious guy from accounts with the big nose’, it’s not the fact that you work in accounts that got you the label or the fact that you have a big hooter either! Drunken behaviour might get you labelled as a fat, drunken slob. It is the behaviour that gets you labelled, your tendency to be overweight is more acceptable!

We can all be thoughtful and change our behaviour, but the new behaviour pattern has to be consistent and for the duration to be affective. To change your reputation, you have to change memories and create new memories in the minds of your family, friends and colleagues. You want them to remember how kind and considerate you were in a time of crisis or how creative you were or how strong you were; different situations call for different, but appropriate responses.  You want people to remember your appropriate responses and so there has to be more of those than the odd inappropriate response to a situation that you found difficult.

Behaving appropriately, means taking life seriously. You can come across as too serious though. So how do you come across as fun, but responsible? You can behave responsibly, but  at the same time joke around a little. Practical jokes tend to give the impression of irresponsibility, especially if they go wrong. Saying humorous things can hurt people’s feelings and so you should be cautious and be quite clear that what you’re saying isn’t meant to be offensive. The way something is said can be the difference between being benevolent and malevolent.

While writing the last paragraph, I had word recall problems. I knew the word I wanted, it was benevolent, but it just wouldn’t pop into my mind. I searched for similar words like altruistic, hoping it would pop up on my computer screen and remind me. I came across a quote during my search, about the difference between a good writer and a bad writer:

Don’t Expect It to Be Easy


You know what, it is so funny. A good writer will always find it very hard to fill a single page. A bad writer will always find it easy.


(Aubrey Kalitera, Why Father Why, 1983)

I think this is is true of writing, but also of life. Life isn’t easy for those who are good at it! I know in writing this page, I am not finding it easy, but I have done over 500 blogs before and so I do have experience. Experience in life helps you to behave in an acceptable and desirable way and makes you more acceptable, which is what reputation is all about. Acceptable behaviour means a acceptable reputation, altruistic behaviour will reward you with an even better reputation. You probably know someone,  or are familiar with someone, who is dishonest, less than truthful, selfish, greedy, but still appears to have a good reputation. They appear good and so appear to have a good reputation, but that is all it is, for appearance’s sake. Such a reputation has no substance and is unlikely to endure.

I hope you have found today’s post interesting. If it made you think about your own behaviour and reputation, you probably don’t have too much to worry about. If you brushed off any doubts, any feelings of remorse at reminders of past behaviour and any feelings of empathy towards your fellow humans; then you should probably worry.

There are more amazing blogs on the home page; please click ‘like’ and recommend to your Facebook friends. Be altruistic!

Smile

One Response

  1. Pingback: How to better yourself « Mike10613's Blog

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