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Psychology: Balanced views

Children who are bullied at school will usually see the bully as strong and themselves as weak. When they complain about being bullied their parents and teachers will tell them to stand up to the bully. They can’t though, but they will find someone they can stand up to, someone weaker than themselves and then they too become the bullies. It doesn’t always happen, but often does.

We often see bullying as being a positive trait and we see kindness as weak and as a negative trait in people. We make judgements about people based on a assumptions that we should be competitive. In nature animals compete for survival, it’s a primitive instinct; but we no longer have to compete for survival. We have evolved into the most sophisticated species on the planet. We have computers and machines and value different things. We value art, drama and music. We want people to be nice to us and we want kindness in our world, so why do we see kind people as gullible and weak?

We make judgements all the time, we judge ourselves and other people. Success is a positive trait, but if someone becomes wealthy using psychological bullying or by taking advantageous of people is that really success? Or is it using the base instinct to compete at any cost?

If someone shows no empathy for people less fortunate than themselves is that good because it shows strength or bad because it shows they are heartless? Sometimes people express opinions that sound quite primitive and barbaric. The so call hang ‘em and flog ‘em brigade often see the worst in people and want capital punishment brought back. They care little about the reasons for crime or whether the odd innocent is executed in their name. If a man cares little about an innocent going to the gallows for a crime they didn’t commit. Is that the type of man you want as your political representative or worse; would it be the type of uncaring person you would want marrying your daughter?

When judging people we have to be reasonable and reasonable usually means not having an extreme view. There is a balance between being weak and being strong. There is a balance between being a caring person and being a soft touch. We have to apply reasonableness to everyone, regardless of their appearance, culture or behaviour. To do otherwise makes us unreasonable extremists which the people who  make life hard for us usually are. Criminals are people who indulge in extreme and inconsiderate behaviour. If we condemn them and then offer a punishment that is ill-considered and extreme, then we are extremists too.

We need to have balanced views and a balanced mind in an unbalanced world. What do you think? Please share your views in the comments box. You can also follow me on Twitter for updates.

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